Dear Lore

Dear Lore…

I know how much everything is hurting you right now, I know that you are afraid and that your eyes fill with tears without you being able to control it, I know that you are looking for all possible ways to make the pain stop, so that you do not feel broken and empty, you smile for others, you laugh with others and they don’t know how much your chest hurts when you do that, you curl up into a ball and close your eyes to lose yourself for a while.

Your body has been talking to you for a while and you haven’t paid attention to it and now, it’s time and you made, for me, the best decision, you chose a trip that takes you out of your comfort zone, that takes you away from what you know and that just like in these photos, you connect with nature, with the roots, with mother earth.

You don’t know if it will work, you are clinging to that idea, to what you have planned and to what comes along the way, clinging as you were to some plans for this year, but now you have to let go, let go of what you let go of and believe me, I know and I understand that it is not easy, I know how much it hurts, you trusted, you opened your heart in a different way and now you are forcing yourself to let go of something that you feel so attached to your skin that it burns, burns and makes you doubt what hurts more, whether to hold it or drop it.
You thank the people who are by your side, in silence, who hug you wanting to heal you, wanting to unite all your pieces and you feel that coolness, that light that makes you believe that everything will be fine even if you don’t believe it now.

You don’t understand why things happen like this, you’re tired, you don’t want any more, you want to delete the cassette, you want a moment of peace, the one you don’t even sleep, you look in the mirror and you don’t recognize yourself, have you always had tremendous dark circles under your eyes? You don’t want to cry anymore, you don’t want to remember or at least remember and not cry, you want to sleep and you want to be calm.

You think if it’s okay to feel like this with everything that’s happening in the world, you know that there are more people feeling like you and you think that it could be normal, that there are worse things happening and you inadvertently get out of this bubble.

But I, writing to you from a hypothetical future, tell you this that I know you would like to read: you’re going to be fine, it’s fine and it’s normal for you to feel like this, I have faith in you, I trust that you make the best decisions, I know how brave you are , you are enough, the limits that you establish now will work, one day when you least expect it you will realize that it no longer hurts, it no longer matters and that you are a better version of yourself. Cry what you have to cry, the dark circles don’t matter, it matters that you feel light and that it helps you feel better about yourself.

I hug you, I love you and I appreciate everything you have done for you.

Sincerely, your future self, who is inside of you.