I am and I feel

I was learning all my life about how not to feel insecure about my own body, I wanted to make myself understand in one way or another that it was okay, and yes, I was (I am), but I wasn’t fully convinced of that. .
It was hard for me to recognize my perfect imperfections and to realize that my body really did not have any problem, that the hair on my body or the spots that have remained over time are part of me and make me unique. In the middle of the process and over time, I have discovered and I can say that the way to feel safer, freer, and happier was to be completely naked. Naked in front of people, naked in front of a camera that I myself put in front of me, naked and vulnerable in every way, naked in front of Vanessa Castro, revealing my layers little by little, revealing my fears, my insecurities, my own prejudices and ways. to see the body; naked, feeling myself.
And yes, getting naked allowed me to recognize myself much better, to even get out of the schemes that I had put on myself due to everything I experienced growing up, to accept that I am among many, and that I do not have to compare myself. No, it is not something that has already been solved, but I am walking the process, with all the ups and downs that this entails, because it is never linear.
I undressed in front of a stranger, and the truth is that I never felt that I could be as free and as happy as I allowed myself to be while Julián shot the camera over and over again. The feeling of being in the vastness of nature, running, laughing and hugging me, gave me so much strength and happiness, that I can’t even explain it. Today I recognize a Vanessa who can’t even see her insecurities, today I see the Vanessa who thanks the one from yesterday, the one from last week or the one from a year ago, for having questioned and reconsidered how to accept herself. Today I am and I feel.